How you can access pleasure after trauma

Accessing Pleasure after Trauma 

 Trauma is nuanced and lives on a broad spectrum that is unique to every single individual. My trauma is different to yours, and so on. 

 I like to say “what constitutes as traumatic for a person and their nervous system is as unique as the constellation of events that have taken place in their life". 

The meaning of the word ‘trauma’, in its Greek origin is actually ‘wound’….. and whether we are consciously aware of it or not, it is often our wounds that can at times dictate our ability to access pleasure, feel safe and engage with the world.  

Most definitions of trauma focus on an event, however, it is more appropriate to understand trauma as a unique individual experience of overwhelm to an event or enduring conditions, IE: the ‘after effect’ of an experience on one’s body and mind. Trauma can range from microagressions to more acute and chronic events. 

While our responses to overwhelm are unique, there are some common themes when it comes to sensory experiences and nervous systems.  

Overwhelm can lead to ‘turning down the dial’ on bodily sensations (in this instance, the body has declared the full range of sensations to be somewhat unsafe). This is often referred to desensitization, dissociation or numbing. This is a natural and automatic response within the body (and is genius!) – it keeps us safe. But, these states (desensitized / numb etc.) are most useful to us when they are temporary and not pro-longed. Pro-longed states of desensitsation effect more than access to sensation and emotion in the moment – they can permeate into all aspects of our life including – our ability to enjoy good quality food, wear the clothes we want to wear, have intimate relationships, connect emotionally with others around us, and all the other juicy parts of life. 

Accessing good quality pleasure can be somewhat of a radical route in coming back to sensation, healing the grid-lock of trauma and reversing desensitization. I say ‘radical’ because we often use pleasure as some kind of bargaining tool - IE. When I’ve done this (hard work and struggle), then I can have pleasure. But what if pleasure were considered healing? Would we wait, or bargain with ourselves? 

So, how can we come back to pleasure after desensitization and trauma? Gently, slowly and with a light sense of curiosity (without a goal in mind). 

Below are just a few routes back to pleasure after trauma: 

1.    Explore touch / massage – this can be facilitated by a professional, such as Tarren – which gives you the added benefit of being in full receivership so that you can gently explore the sensations of your body – including the points of tension, where there may be some pain, the areas that are relaxed and so forth. Massage also can be self-initiated – maybe a massage after a warm shower? This can invite a sense of agency and presence with yourself also. 

2.    Hypnotherapy. Trauma can create strong and protective neural pathways in your brain that might be overriding your ability to access good quality pleasure. A trauma-informed clinical hypnotherapist may be able to assist you in neutralizing past trauma (and your bodies current response to it), and develop new neural pathways for accessing every day pleasure. I specialize in areas relating to body image, eating disorders and sexuality – and there are a range of therapists located all over the world specializing in all things pleasure and trauma. 

3.    You might like to work with a trauma-aware therapist who understands the effects trauma may have had on your nervous system, sensory capacity and levels of safety.  

4.    Mindful eating. Choose a meal each day that you dedicate to being present with the sensation of eating. Remember, it doesn’t have to be every meal, or even the whole meal– but choose a time, take your time, move slowly, notice sensations, textures and flavors. 

And remember, 

“you don’t have to be a fire for every mountain blocking you, you could be a water, and soft river your way to freedom too”. 

-       Nayyirah Waheed 

Written by Jacqui Thomson, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Subtle Self
Based in Melbourne